stds-802-16: SYSREQ COMMENT

[Scott Marin <smarin@spectrapoint.com>]

The following comments apply to document IEEE 802.16s0-99/5 and are in
response to the 21 Oct. 99 message to stds-802-16@ieee.org from Brian
Petry subject stds-802-16: SYSREQ: Draft 5 and Comment Instructions


[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
2

[Starting Line #]
28

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
add figure title. "Figure 1, Relationship between 802.16 and other
Protocol Standards"

[Reason for Edit]
All figures and tables should have titles. All figures and titles should
be called out in the text.


[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
2

[Starting Line #]
23

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Replace the sentence "The following diagram illustrates the relationship
of 802.16 protocols to other 802 standards and to the OSI model" with
"The 802.16 protocols relate to other 802 standards and to the OSI
reference model as shown in Figure 1." 

[Reason for Edit]
All figures and tables should have titles. All figures and titles should
be called out in the text.


[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
2

[Starting Line #]
25

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Move the sentence "(The numbers in the figure refer to IEEE standard
numbers.)" to the end of the Figure 1 title. Replace "(The numbers in
the figure refer to IEEE standard numbers.)" with "(The numbers refer to
IEEE standard numbers.)"

[Reason for Edit]
All figures and tables should have titles. All figures and titles should
be called out in the text. The parenthetic note should be with the
figure.


[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
5

[Starting Line #]
1

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
T

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
In the Wireless Solution Column of Figure 1-2, Replace the "Fixed
Wireless Access" with "802.16 P-MP Radio".


[Reason for Edit]
Figure 1-2 in document IEEE 802.16s0-99/5 implies that 802.16 P-MP radio
is difference than fixed wireless access, which it is not. The figure
also implies that 802.16 doesn't apply for data rates below 2 Mbps or
for the SOHO market, which is also not true. The figure was correct in
document IEEE 802.16s0-99/4 which labeled both the Mass Market Access
and the High-cap Access as being within the scope of 802.16.

[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
7

[Starting Line #]
6

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
T

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Delete Sentence: "Typical bands allocated for 802.16 use are very wide,
allowing for the bands to be channelized."


[Reason for Edit]
The sentence has several problems. Bands are not "allocated" for 802.16.
Only the ITU "allocates" bands for use by defined radio services such as
the fixed service. The phrase "very wide" is vague. The logical
correctness of the argument that because bands are wide they can be
channelized is incorrect. The channelization of bands has nothing to do
with how wide the band is. Rather than trying to repair all of these
issues, I recommend simply deleting the sentence.





[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
8

[Starting Line #]
1

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
In Figure 2-3, replace "STS" with "subscriber station" and replace "BTS"
with "base station"

[Reason for Edit]
To be consistent with text.



[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
8

[Starting Line #]
21

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
T

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Delete the sentence "The resulting topology is very similar to a Hybrid
Fiber Coax (HFC) cable TV network [69][69][3]."

[Reason for Edit]
The sentence has several editorial and technical problems. Editorially,
[69] appears twice, and the sentence should end with a period instead of
a comma. Grammatically, the word very in the phase "is very similar to"
is odd construction and vague. If the phase "very similar to" implies
"almost the same as" then I take exception to the wording because HFC
networks are many differences and only a few similarities to 802.16
networks. The text needs to either explain the differences and
similarities or say nothing. In the interest of time and because there
is not a requirement in the line 21 sentence, I recommend simply
deleting the sentence.




[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
16

[Starting Line #]
22

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Delete the sentence "This amounts to 53 minutes of outage a year"

[Reason for Edit]
The sentence applied when the prior sentence called out 99.99%
availability. As the prior sentence now states a range from 99.9 to
99.999%, the sentence "this amounts to 53 minutes of outage a year" is
incorrect. Because the subsequent sentence put the outage time for
99.999% availability into perspective, the sentence "this amounts to 53
minutes of outage a year" can be deleted without changing the meaning of
the paragraph.

[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
16

[Starting Line #]
40

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
T

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Delete the paragraph on lines 40-43.

[Reason for Edit]
The paragraph has several editorial and technical problems. Editorially,
I believe that G.826 limits the errored second ratio to be at most 0.04
and that the severely errored second ratio to at most 0.002 instead of
"defining" these ratios to be exactly 0.04 and 0.002, respectively. As
noted in line 29, unavailability begins at the onset of 10 consecutive
SES. Availability goals in the range 99.9 to 99.999% are not the same as
errored second ratio or severely errored second ratio; therefore, the
sentence "Note that this is below the 99.99% goal" is incorrect because
99.99% doesn't apply to ES or SES. The sentence is also vague because
the pronoun "this" is unclear. Because there are no requirements in
lines 40-43 and because repairing the paragraph will take some time, I
recommend deleting the paragraph.


[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
18

[Starting Line #]
4

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
T

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Recommend a Ad Hoc group meet to revise the delay definitions.

[Reason for Edit]
The delay definitions need improvement. For example, the phrase "ready
to transmit" and "actually begins transmission" can be interpreted in
several way and needs a more precise definition. In addition, the
end-to-end delay from BNI to SNI and SNI to BNI contains functions
outside of the MAC and PHY for which no delay assumptions or allocation
is provided. In Table 1, it's not clear which, if any, of the delay
definitions are being used. The actual delay through the MAC and PHY are
not defined, which is probably the most important definition for 802.16
to get correct. The notion of delay for initially configuring a
connection versus the steady state delay during payload transmission is
not defined.

[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
20

[Starting Line #]
6

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
e

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Move Table 1 title from bottom to top of table. 

[Reason for Edit]
to follow conventional style for technical writing.

[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
20

[Starting Line #]
6

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
T

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Replace "Bitrate(s)" column with "Information Rate"

[Reason for Edit]
To make it clear that the rates are payload information rates and not
the over-the-air rates that include FEC bits.

[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
20

[Starting Line #]
6

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
e

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Replace "Bit Error Rate" column "Maximum Ratio". Add BER to the Circuit
Based rows so that BER 10^-6.


[Reason for Edit]
The column contains several types of ratios in addition to BER. It's
incorrect to label the column only BER. In addition, the ratios are
maximums.

[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
20

[Starting Line #]
6

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
e

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Replace "Delay (One way)" with "Maximum Delay (One way)"

[Reason for Edit]
The delay requirement is a maximum and not a nominal as currently
implied by the table.


[Submitter's Last Name] 
Scott

[Submitter's First Name]
Marin

[Starting Page #]
20

[Starting Line #]
6

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos, 
grammar, etc.]
e

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
add text to define all ratios.

[Reason for Edit]
What are the definition of all of the ratios CMR and SECBR mean?


Regards,
Scott Marin