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stds-802-16: TG1 COMMENT

To: "802.16" <stds-802-16@ieee.org>
Subject: stds-802-16: TG1 COMMENT
From: Scott Marin <smarin@spectrapoint.com>
Date: Fri, 01 Sep 2000 14:30:21 -0500
References: <p04310114b5b8b8f6126b@[132.163.48.122]>
Reply-To: Scott_Marin-P30104@email.mot.com
Sender: owner-stds-802-16@ieee.org

[Submitter's Last Name]
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Scott

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "protoco" to "protocol"

[Reason for Edit]
spelling error

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Add reference numbers [1] ...

[Reason for Edit]
References referred to in the text need to be numbered.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "shown in" insert "Figure X". Then insert Figure 4-1 from the functional
requirement document (IEEE 802.16s-99r1, p11).

[Reason for Edit]
Incomplete sentence

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "in the ATM World" to "for ATM protocols"

[Reason for Edit]
There is no ATM World.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "base transceiver station (BTS)to one or more subscriber transceiver
stations (STS)" to "base station (BS) to one or more subscriber stations (SS)"

[Reason for Edit]
Use the terms as defined in Functional Requirements Document IEEE 802.16s-99/00r1.
Note term CPE through the document should be replaced with SS. The replacement of
BS for BTS occurs on several lines and figures.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change Figure 4 with Figure 2-3 from document IEEE 802.16s-99/00r1

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with functional requirements.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change entire paragraph to the paragraph beginning on page 13, line 26 of the
functional requirements spec (IEEE 802.16s-99_00r1).

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with the functional requirements spec.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
change "rends" to "sends"

[Reason for Edit]
spelling.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "convergence sublayer" insert "(CL)"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "MAA" to "XXX"

[Reason for Edit]
Note sure if MAA is a typo or intentional. If intentional, then define MAA. If
typo, then change to correct value.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "Request message" insert "(paragraph xxx)"

[Reason for Edit]
Dynamic Service Addition - Request message not yet defined in the document.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
after "connection ID" insert "(CID)

[Reason for Edit]
Define acronym. Note that the document inconsistently uses connection ID,
connection identifier, and CID in many places. String replace all but the first
occurrence of "connection ID" and "connection identifier" with CID.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "convergence sublayer access point" with "SAP"

[Reason for Edit]
Assuming that the "convergence sublayer access point is the same as the SAP, then
use the previously defined acronym "SAP". Alternatively, if the convergence
sublayer access point is different from the SAP, then the sublayer access point
needs to be defined more clearly.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "convergence sublayers" to "convergence sublayer (CL)"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym. Change to singular, because there is one layer.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "These" to "The"

[Reason for Edit]
Correct sentence grammar. Change to singular because there is a single layer.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After Figure 5. insert new sentence "The transmission convergence (TC) sublayer is
also shown in Figure 5.

[Reason for Edit]
Define acronym "TC".

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Delete "-proper"

[Reason for Edit]
It's not clear what a "proper" service is. Delete "proper" or clearly distinguish
from other MAC services.
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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "supported at the" insert "Mxxxx Pxxxx Lxxxx Sxxxx"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym. For that mater, LLC, ATM, IP, and MPEG have been defined either.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "CPE" to "SS"

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with functional requirements, IEEE 802.16s-99_00r1. Note, String
replace "CPE" with "SS" in several places.
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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
after "addressing purposes" insert "[ref #].

[Reason for Edit]
802.16 will need to have a plan for assigning EUIs. The standard should reference
the EUI assignment process and not leave the reader to define any EUI.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
change "Connection Identifier" to "CID"

[Reason for Edit]
String replace all but the first occurrence of "connection ID" and "connection
identifier" with CID.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Delete lines 9 thru 15.

[Reason for Edit]
The notation "0..m", "m.n", and n..0xFDFF is unclear. Obviously, lines 9 thru 15
should be changed instead of deleted, but I couldn't even guess at what the
notation means. If the CID has a 16-bit value, then all rows should have only
16-bit values. The notation "n..0xFDFF" appears to be a multiple of a 16-bit
value, which is very confusing.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
after "request" insert "information element"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "See" to "The BS and SS shall meet the timing requirements contained in"

[Reason for Edit]
To make it clear that stations that are compliant to 802.16.1 have time
requirements.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
after "wait for" insert "physical change descriptor"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
after "Registration Request." insert new sentence. For the subsequent settings,
the length is in 8-bit octets.

[Reason for Edit]
define "length"
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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
change "Hz" to "kHz"

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with line 56. Note 2^32 is 4.29e9; therefore, to specify a frequency
with a 32-bit word at, for example, 66 GHz, the units must be at least 100 Hz.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "this" to "xxx"

[Reason for Edit]
"This" is ambiguous. "This" might be replaced with "upstream channel ID", but then
the sentence doesn't make sense. What did the author intend to say?

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "It" to "xxx"

[Reason for Edit]
"It" is ambiguous. "It" might be replaced with "The upstream channel description
message", but I'm not sure that is what the author intended.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "Subscriber" insert "Network"

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with system reference point descriptions in para 1.7.1

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "A Subscriber" to "Subscriber Network Equipment"

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with system reference point descriptions in para 1.7.1. (Subscribers
are human not devices)
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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
after "Object" insert "(NACO)"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
change "On/Off" to "Value"

[Reason for Edit]
Consistency with other paragraphs

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
delete "that can be used by the CPE"

[Reason for Edit]
Confusing wording. Are there downstream modulation typed that can't be used by a
CPE?

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
before "ARP" insert "Axxx Rxxx Pxxx"

[Reason for Edit]
Define acronym. DHCP, ICPEP, ToD, TFTP SYSLOG, and SNMP should also be defined.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
change "NACO off" to ""NACO=0"".

[Reason for Edit]
Is NACO off the same as "NACO=0"? Use only one notation. See also NACO off in
Page35, line 37.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
delete "if present"

[Reason for Edit]
Is the configuration file optional? Assume a configuration file is required the
"if present" should be deleted.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
before "TFTP" insert "Txxx Fxxx Txxx Pxxx"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "subscriber" to "xxxx"

[Reason for Edit]
What is a subscriber? A channel, a network equipment, and billing account? Insert
the answer in for "xxxx". If sentence is correct, then define subscriber in the
context of the sentence.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
change "Appendix 2.3.1.9" to "x.x.x.x"

[Reason for Edit]
Reference is incorrect.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "Identifier" insert "(CID)

[Reason for Edit]
redefine acronym to avoid confusion.

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "Grant Management" insert "(GM)"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym

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[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
After "Bandwidth Request" insert "(BR)"

[Reason for Edit]
define acronym

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[Starting Line #]
51

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos,
grammar, etc., (TBD) for a comment on a section marked "TBD"]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
delete "based on that Identifier"

[Reason for Edit]
The phrase isn't necessary, assuming "that identifier" is the CID and not some
other identifier.

=========
[Submitter's Last Name]
Marin

[Submitter's First Name]
Scott

[Membership Status: (M)ember; (O)bserver; (N)either]
M

[Starting Page #]
66

[Starting Line #]
33

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos,
grammar, etc., (TBD) for a comment on a section marked "TBD"]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Insert "A User PDU is defined as a PDU that XXX and uses the header format define
in YYY."

[Reason for Edit]
User PDU not defined.

=========
[Submitter's Last Name]
Marin

[Submitter's First Name]
Scott

[Membership Status: (M)ember; (O)bserver; (N)either]
M

[Starting Page #]
66

[Starting Line #]
23

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos,
grammar, etc., (TBD) for a comment on a section marked "TBD"]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "Management" to "Grant Management"

[Reason for Edit]
to make it clear which management PDU is being shown.

=========
[Submitter's Last Name]
Marin

[Submitter's First Name]
Scott

[Membership Status: (M)ember; (O)bserver; (N)either]
M

[Starting Page #]
66

[Starting Line #]
28

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos,
grammar, etc., (TBD) for a comment on a section marked "TBD"]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
Change "Concatention" with "Concatenation showing example CIDs.

[Reason for Edit]
Correct spelling and clarify that that the CIDs aren't hardcoded for only
concatenation.

=========
[Submitter's Last Name]
Marin

[Submitter's First Name]
Scott

[Membership Status: (M)ember; (O)bserver; (N)either]
M

[Starting Page #]
67

[Starting Line #]
4

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos,
grammar, etc., (TBD) for a comment on a section marked "TBD"]
E

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]
delete "standard"

[Reason for Edit]
if section 2.5.1 is the correct format, then delete the term "standard" because
2.5.1 describes a sub-layer PDU and not a "standard" PDU.

=========
[Submitter's Last Name]
Marin

[Submitter's First Name]
Scott

[Membership Status: (M)ember; (O)bserver; (N)either]
M

[Starting Page #]

[Starting Line #]

[(T)echnical for Content-Related Material; (E)ditorial for typos,
grammar, etc., (TBD) for a comment on a section marked "TBD"]

[Detailed Description of Proposed Insertion, Deletion, Change]

[Reason for Edit]

=========
References:
- stds-802-16: TG1 COMMENT: IEEE 802.16.1 Final Task Group Review [revision]
  - From: "Roger B. Marks" <marks@boulder.nist.gov>
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